Playing For Keeps
by J.RdrgzXO
Summary: An original Stelena FanFic. Based off of the TV series the Vampire Diaries!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hey all! This is my first fanfic piece based on the Vampire Diaries. I absolutely love this show with a passion and I'm new to this whole thing so I would absolutely appreciate all types of feedback to help improve my story. This story will be told from three perspectives; Elena, Stefan, and a 3****rd**** person narrator. If it's too confusing please let me know. Alas, let me know what you all think! Feedback is entirely appreciared :]  
**

The sound of her alarm blaring in her ear didn't faze her that morning just like it hasn't for the past eight months. She lay in bed, staring at the ceiling hoping that everything that she endured in the past eight months wouldn't be set back today. She saw her pug, Baxter, resting at the edge of her bed, waiting for her to get up. He sensed she was awake and walked over to lick her face and demand to be pet. "Hey buddy, today's the day." She whispered while scratching his belly. It was September 5th, the first day of school and Elena wasn't so sure if she was ready to embrace everyone and their sympathy. She pressed her lips into a thin line, sighed and slowly got up from my bed and shuffled to her bathroom to find her aunt, Jenna, brushing her teeth.

"Hey Elena! Are you excited for your first day of senior year? I remember my first day of senior year; your mom made her famous French toast and Grayson was trying to get you and Jeremy ready - " She suddenly stopped and looked at me with concern, " - Are you sure you're ready to go back? I mean, if you're not ready you don't have to. They said to take as long as you needed." She cocked her head to the side and looked at Elena with her big moon eyes.

Elena forced a small smile and told her, "Yeah, Jenna! I'm fine; I'm really looking forward to getting back into the swing of things…. Are you excited for your last year of graduate school?" She asked playfully as she pushed her over with her hip.

"You have no idea how excited I am," Jenna beamed, "I have to get going actually so would you mind getting Jeremy up and ready?" Elena looked her and nodded and hugged her tightly. "Don't forget what I told you," Jenna whispered into Elena's ear, "deep breathes, make sure you pack your inhaler just in case. I love you." Jenna pulled away and smiled and gave a reassuring squeeze to Elena's shoulders.

"Love you too Jenna.." was all Elena could manage to say. Jenna bolted down the stairs and rushed out the door. Elena looked at herself in the mirror and saw her reflection. _I can't do this, _she thought,_ I really can't do this. _Elena's lips began to tremble and her brows began to furrow. She took a deep breath so she wouldn't cry and then there was a loud a pounding on the bathroom door.

"ELENA! Hurry up in there, I need to pee" Jeremy yelled. Elena laughed a bit and opened the door to see Jeremy all ready for school.

"And good morning to you too Jeremy!" Elena said with enthusiastic sarcasm. He smiled at her and rolled his eyes.

"Good to see you haven't lost your sarcasm" Jeremy stated. He realized his choice of words weren't the best when he saw Elena look down. Quickly changing the subject, Jeremy exclaimed, "You aren't ready yet? It's almost 7:30!" Classes would be starting in 45 minutes. Elena quickly walked into her room and stared into her closet trying to figure out to what wear. In the back of her closet, she saw her ballet slippers hanging on the wall. Elena heavily and aggressively sighed. She grabbed the first shirt and pants she could find and slammed the door shut. Elena got dressed in herculean speed and rushed down to the kitchen to see if Jeremy was ready. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Elena remembered what Jenna had said earlier that morning about her first day of senior year and a sudden wave of nausea came over her. There was no one waiting downstairs to wish her off on her first day of senior year. Elena's chest began to grow heavy and she almost began to cry when Jeremy came sprinting down the stairs. She hastily wiped away any tears that fell and took a deep breath and turned around to see Jeremy. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at his sister with sincerity said, "Elena, are you alright? Were you just…"? Elena quickly cut him off with a wave of her hand and urged him to get to the car.

"C'mon," she mumbled, "We're going to be late." He walked out the door first and Elena last. Before she shut the door, elena took a glance around the house and saw how empty it was. There was no life left. Elena sighed, closed the door, and proceeded to her car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The ride over to school was silent except for the blaring of music coming from Jeremy's headphones. Elena slightly tugged on one of them and scolded Jeremy, "You're going to go deaf if you keep your music that loud." He looked at her with amusement and said,

"Jesus, Elena. You're just like mom." He knew a comment like that would make Elena smile and it did; for a second she was relieved until they reached their destination. Elena pulled into the senior parking lot and saw Caroline, Matt, and Bonnie had stood in a space between their own cars, waiting for Elena's arrival. They all smiled cheerfully when they saw Elena's BMW pull up. Elena groaned and waved at them with false excitement and Jeremy just looked at her with worry in his eyes.

"Are you _sure _you're going to be alright?" He really meant it this time and Elena answered him as honestly as she could.

Elena stared straight ahead and sighed, "No, Jer, I will not be alright but I'm going to say I am anyway. I…. I just don't want people to coddle me. I need to get through today without any breakdowns." She said firmly. Elena looked over to him and plastered a smile on my face. He knew it wasn't real but he wasn't going to push her too far either. He sighed and half smiled and told her to try and enjoy her day. She watched him get out of her car and walk over to the front doors.

Elena sat in her car for a few minutes with her head in her hands when she heard a loud knocking on her window.

"EARTH TO ELENA!" Caroline shouted. Elena looked up and glared at Caroline. Caroline just beamed in all her perkiness, "Are you going to sit in there all day or are you going to join the rest of civilization?" Caroline is one of Elena's best friend; she's overbearing and selfish at times but she knows Elena like no one else. Matt was standing behind her shaking his head, looking sympathetic and mouthed "Sorry". He is also Elena's best friend. He knows Caroline gets under her skin so he balances her craziness out. Then there was Bonnie; Bonnie and Elena have been friends much longer than her and Caroline but when Elena's parents died, something between Elena and Bonnie had shifted. Elena smiled at them and got of the car and exclaimed, "Car…you could have shattered my window with all your cheerfulness!" Elena rolled her eyes and Caroline just giggled and pulled Elena into a hug.

"Good to have you back 'Lena" Matt stated with care. Elena looked at him and smiled and went to embrace Matt next. As she was hugging Matt, she saw Bonnie smiling at her. Elena smiled smugly and Bonnie's mouth pressed into a firm line.

"Elena…. can we talk?" Bonnie quietly pleaded. Elena looked at her with uncertainty and was about to speak when the first bell rang.

"I've got to get to class" Elena muttered and awkwardly walked away.

The second bell rang and everyone flooded the hallways to rush to their homerooms. Elena walked in to find every person that she past look at her with sympathy. Some whispered their condolences, while others tried to embrace her in a hug. All were just familiar faces and they knew the most personal thing about Elena. Elena didn't like that at all, in a way, she felt violated. Elena began to feel clammy, dizzy, and a little sick from all of the empathy she was receiving in a span of 7 minutes. It was too much for her to process; she felt my chest tighten up and took that as a sign that something was happening. _Oh shit, not here. Please not here. _Elena thought. She started to fade in and out of her surroundings, her breathing grew increasingly sparse and then everything went black and Elena collapsed on the floor. But before she had completely blacked out, Elena saw a face she has never seen before. The mysterious boy looked at Elena with such heated compassion and concern that in that very moment Elena felt safe and sound.

**Elena's POV:**

I woke up to people looking down and gasping at me when I suddenly felt a hot liquid coming from behind my head. _Um, ow? _ Was all I could process, I was lying on the floor when I looked over and saw him inches from my face.

"Are you alright? Can you hear me? Do you know your name?" his voice commanded. He carefully pulled my face into his hands and looked deeply into my eyes searching for a sign to let him know I wasn't responding due to the injury. His hand touched the back of my head and he felt my blood. He pulled his hand slowly away from my head and instantly became memorized by my blood. I drew a deep breath and felt my lungs constrict. I cried out and he looked back at me with intense worry and wiped his hand on his jeans. He then began yelling at everyone who crowded around me to back off and get help.

"What's going on? Elena? ELENA!" I heard Jeremy shout. He came rushing over to me and asked the mystery man sitting next to me what happened.

"I don't know," he said frantically, "She walked in here and everyone was talking to her, hugging her and then she just blacked out. She was gasping for air."

"Shit," Jeremy muttered, "I knew this would be too much for her", Jeremy said to himself. "Elena, you need to tell me where it hurts. Can you breathe?" I just stared at him and lightly nodded. Jeremy seemed to relax a little by my reaction and then went to ask, "Is your inhaler in your bag?" I nodded again and he reached into my bag and pulled it out for me. I went to grab it to administer it to myself but Jeremy wouldn't allow it. I felt embarrassed. My 16 year-old brother helping his 18 year-old sister. I chuckled at the thought of it. The mystery man had quickly given his attention to me when he heard me laugh.

"Is she alright?" He asked looking sick with worry. Jeremy looked over to him and smiled with relief.

"Yeah, she's alright. Thanks for being here for her." Jeremy replied. That's when I heard the quick movement of feet. I figured it was the principal and his army of administrators. They arrived to me and looked at me with annoyance.

"We need to get her to the hospital," Principal Spade stated, "We can't have this as a liability here." I just laughed. I laughed out loud so hard that Jeremy and Mystery Man looked at me with bewilderment.

I opened my mouth gasping for air after laughing so hard and said, "Don't worry Principal Spade. I'm not going to sue you, I'm set for life thanks to what my parents left me," And then my laugh turned into a heavy sob. I was moaning uncontrollably and Jeremy looked at Principal Spade with disgust. Mystery Man was running is fingers on my forehead when I shot a glare through my teary eyes. He immediately stop and I sort of felt bad; I knew he was trying to comfort me but I didn't know who he was so I wanted him to stop touching me. But after I calmed down, and I was okay to stand up, I noticed he had blood dried up on his hands and pants.

I looked at him with concern and asked, "Did I hurt you? Are you okay? I'm so sorry if I did.." I looked down out of shame and when I went to look back up for his response, he looked at me with astonishment.

"You literally just collapsed on the floor from an anxiety induced asthma attack, I presume, and you're concerned about me?" He asked with disbelief. "And the blood isn't mine, it's yours," He stated. I forgot about hitting my head on the floor and when he reminded me, I reached back and felt the back of my head was wet and throbbing. I didn't know what to say so all I could mumble was sorry and stare into his captivating green eyes. All though I was embarrassed and in pain from my fall, I felt safe and oddly enough, I felt happy? Happiness was hard to come by for me so I assumed that the "happy" feeling was just relief that I didn't hurt myself more than I already had.

After my episode at school, I went home and slept off the exhaustion. I heard my door open several times through out the afternoon; I assumed Jeremy was making sure I was still alive. I feel guilty about Jeremy being so watchful over me. Shouldn't I, his older sister, be the one who's looking out for him? I felt so defenseless.

Jeremy stopped coming in after Jenna got home. I heard her drag her feet upstairs and go into Jeremy's room. I got up to go great my aunt when I heard them discussing what happened with me; I put my ear to the door and listened intently.

"I just wonder when she's going to forgive herself for what happened," Jeremy sadly said, "I just feel like she's never going to progress if she's still blaming herself."

"I know, but the only thing we can do is comfort her and let her know we're here for her," Jenna said, "I got a call today…from the NYC Ballet Company…they want her to audition for their winter recital. They were hoping we could convince her to come back since they said she's the best dancer they've had in a long time" Jenna's voice had hope in it.

"Yeah, I don't know about that Aunt Jenna…that's the reason why we're orphans, you really think she's going to dance again after the accident?" Jeremy asked with a tiny voice. I heard Jenna walk over to sit on his bed.

"Knowing her, she won't give herself a chance to be happy and we both know how wonderful she feels when she dances…. I think we shouldn't tell her they called, I don't want her to feel obligated to do it" Jenna said firmly. Her and Jeremy continued to discuss other matters while I crawled back into bed.

I felt worse…I felt guilty that I was holding everyone back from moving on. I just wanted everyone to stop caring about me at that point; I can take care of myself. I don't want people to fuss over me, watch over me, or guide me at all. Something inside of me switched and I decided it would be best to pretend that I've moved on. I know I would crack at some point but I just wanted to be treated like a human being.

Elena had gone to bed and Jeremy was fast asleep too. The clock read 3:30 AM and I knew it would be pointless to attempt to fall back asleep after I've slept the whole day away. I woke up, put on a pair of slim-fit yoga pants and rolled up the legs to the top of my ankles. I never allowed any pants that I wore to fall below my ankles; my dad would call me "high-waters" every time he saw my pants rolled up. That memory made me laugh a little and warmed me up inside. I then grabbed my jacket and tied on my Nike Frees and decided it would be good to go for a walk in the woods and go to my spot and watch the sunrise. I left the house, in stealth mode to ensure I don't wake anyone up. I then forgot my dog was a light sleeper and I heard him whine when I was about to leave the house. I knew if I walked out that door without him, he would have gone into a barking frenzy. I got Baxter's harness and leash ready and took him with me.

**Stefan's POV: **

I couldn't believe I was back in Mystic Falls. Twenty years after I have left, I decided it was time to go back home and try to live a normal life. _Normal, Stefan? Really? I'm a vampire, what is normal? _I always asked myself this and I figured the best way to achieve it was to enroll in school. I had gone to school and graduated many times but this time, it felt different, I felt as if something was going to change me. I arrived to Mystic Falls High School to see that if hasn't changed that much from the last time I was there. The only difference was the people and the fads. I entered the building and went to my assigned locker hoping to be invisible. I really didn't want to be noticed but everyone, and I mean everyone was staring at me. A few girls shot me flirty smiles while their boyfriends gave me threatening glares but I just ignored all gestures towards me and kept on my way. A few seconds later, everyone had gotten silent when a girl walked in. She looked sad, fragile but gracefully accept everyone and their respects. She was also the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes one. Her chocolate brown shoulder length hair has a slight wave to it that beautifully framed her face. She isn't skinny, and I thoroughly enjoy that. She has a full figured and walked with swaying hips. She also has captivating lips. Her lips were naturally full and had a red tint to them. For a second, I thought of nothing but kissing them but that was cut short when she began to walk towards me. She suddenly looked pale and I saw her begin to breath strangely. She looked at me with desperation and all I wanted to do was help her. She crashed to the floor and I quickly rushed to her. It took her exactly 30 seconds to come around and I asked her simple questions to make sure she didn't have a concussion since she had hit her head pretty hard on to the ground. She woke up with looked over at me with confusion and embarrassment. I gently grab her face and looked into her eyes to make sure her pupils weren't dilated. She seemed okay and then I my hand touched the back of her head and I felt it. I felt the warm blood leaving her body and every nerve inside of me caught on fire. I looked at my hand and I wanted to taste her, I wanted to drink her warm succulent blood but something inside of me told me not to. I knew it was wrong, I haven't touched human blood in over forty years but that's not what held me back. It was her…it was her that held me back from draining her body. She cried out in pain and I told everyone to back up not wanting her to be trapped. I suddenly heard the voice of a young man come running over,

"What's going? Elena? ELENA!" It must have been her brother since they looked alike. He shoved everyone out of his way and rushed quickly to his sister's side and urgently asked me what happened.

"I don't know," I said frantically, "She walked in here and everyone was talking to her, hugging her and then she just blacked out. She was gasping for air." He cursed and asked if she could breath on her own and if she had her inhaler. She nodded and he went to administer her inhaler when I heard her slightly chuckle. That was the first time I heard her voice and it was instantly mesmerizing. I didn't understand why she was laughing though but I let that go and asked her brother if she was okay. He said she was but I honestly wasn't convinced. I heard a fleet of footsteps from the opposite hallway; I figured it was the principal and his minions coming to assesse the situation. Principal Spade asked what happened to Elena and that she had to go to the hospital so she wasn't a liability to the school. She suddenly became hysterical, having a fit of laughter and it shocked me. I then heard her say, "Don't worry Principal Spade. I'm not going to sue you, I'm set for life thanks to what my parents left me." It instantly clicked in my head why everyone was silent and comforting her when she walked in, her parents had died and this was her first time back to school. She then sobbed so hard that I felt her pain. I just wanted to hold her, to tell her everything was going to get better but I knew it wasn't my place. I couldn't help but caress her face to soothe her when she shot a look at me. I stopped and allowed her to calm down. She stood up, with the help of her brother and looked at me with sorrow. She noticed the dried blood on my hands and my jeans and asked if she hurt me. I could not believe what she was asking. She had just injured herself and she was worried about me? I've never met someone so selfless and right then and there was when I realized she was different from all the others. I told her exactly what I thought and explained to her that the blood was from her head. She didn't know what to say so she walked away with her brother.

I watched them leave and I felt the air escape from me. I felt something for her, something deeper than I can fathom and I wanted to know her more than anything. I knew that Elena was special. She was kind and selfless and just amazing. I knew that I had to stop at nothing to get to know her. I didn't want to force myself upon her, but I would be simply happy with just being her friend.

I decided I had enough of school for that day and went home. I arrived at the Salvatore Boarding House and sat around all day until I thought it would be a good idea to go hunt. After seeing and smelling Elena's blood, I felt a little hungry. I needed to cut the craving so I decided on a woodland animal. The animal diet was not as empowering as the human diet but I refused human blood after my incidents. I finished hunting and went back inside when I saw my brother Damon lounging in the living room with his head in a book.

"Hello, baby brother. How were those innocent bunnies?" He said teasingly. Damon didn't approve of my diet but he respected it. He rolled his eyes and scented the blood on my jeans. I forgot to change and I quickly began to walk away when Damon had appeared in front of me.

"Did something happen?" He demanded. All though Damon may have not have approved my choice of living, he did care for me. I waved my hands in front of me and shook my head.

"No, no Damon. A girl fell in school and I helped her," was all I dared to say. If I knew Damon, he would have kept pressing me to know more about what happened, about her. Instead, he just nodded in agreement and began to go back to his reading. I was relieved that Damon hadn't asked more about Elena because I wouldn't know what to tell him. I couldn't tell him I was completely infatuated with a girl I hardly knew or else he would have conceived me as a moron. I did know one thing though; I was falling hard for her. She began to consume my thoughts and it was intoxicating. I wanted to love her and I wanted her to love me. I crashed heavily on my bed facing the ceiling. I breathed in and closed my eyes hoping to dream of her beautiful face.

It was around 3:30 AM when I woke up with an insatiable hunger. I did dream of her but I don't like what I dreamt about…Elena was bleeding and I fed off of her. It's moments like that when I am reminded of who I truly am, a monster. Who am I kidding? I shouldn't be alive. I shouldn't be fantasizing about being in a relationship with a human when I can easily kill her. I was angry with myself, with who I am and I decided the only was to deal with my anger was to go into the woods and hunt.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello all! Here is the second chapter to "Playing for Keeps". I'm really enjoying writing this story so if anyone has anything they would like to see added, let me know! Please review as it is always appreciated :] – **

**Elena's POV: **

We were walking around the old Lockwood plantation when I heard a branch snap. I carefully looked around to see if anyone was near but I saw nothing but the pale moonlight and trees. I heard Baxter growl and I just ignored it, I thought he was growling at a squirrel or something since they are his mortal enemy. I kept walking blissfully unaware of my surrounding when my foot got caught in a root of a tree. I tripped and let go of Baxter's leash; he fled into the darkness and I yelled out for him. I didn't care if my knee was cut open, I just had to find him before he got hurt. I ran ahead to see if I could hear him but I heard nothing. I got increasingly worried but I tried not to panic. I whistled, called out his name, told him I had a treat and nothing seemed to get a response so I freaked out. I was sprinting all over the woods when I ran into someone..

"Hey, are you alright?" The voice exclaimed. I looked up and there he was, it was Mystery Man. I didn't even dawn on me that he was wandering the woods at 4:00 AM because all I cared about what finding my dog.

"My dog," I said between breaths, "I fell and let go of his leash and he ran off". He looked at my wounded knee and gulped a bit. I figured he was squeamish and I felt bad for causing him to feel that way. I rolled up my pant to my knee to make a makeshift bandaid and he looked at me with curiosity and smiled a little at my action.

"Okay, okay…let's try and find him." I winced at the word try and he grabbed my hands and said in his best caring manner, "Don't worry, we will find him, what does he look like and what's his name?" I gave him Baxter's description and he carefully listened. We walked off into the woods to search for him when he finally introduced himself.

"I'm Stefan, Stefan Salvatore." _Salvatore?_ That name caused a bell to go off in my head…. I looked at him and smiled with my tired eyes and decided it would be fair to introduce myself, as I extended my hand to him.

"I'm Elena, Elena Gilbert." I mimicked. He flashed me a dazzling smile and I felt weakened by it. When he grabbed my hand to shake it, I felt a sudden surge of energy, it was heavy, like gravity. I changed the subject so I couldn't focus on him and asked, "so… why were you out here anyway?" He looked at me with caution and it frightened me a little. He saw the fear in my eyes and he stopped walking.

"I could ask you the same thing," he said with a hint of sarcasm, "But in all honesty… I was… hunting…" he said it with extreme caution and waited for me to reply. I looked at him and saw he wasn't holding a weapon of any kind nor was he really dressed for the occasion. He looked at me carefully, probably seeing if I could handle the next piece of information before he continued his explanation. I never faltered; I stay composed and even smiled a little to tell him to proceed.

"What I'm about to tell you is going to sound like a joke but it really isn't which is why you need to react rationally." Stefan stated. That's when I started to get nervous, what is he even talking about? _Act rationally?_ I was seriously intrigued. I nodded and he drew a breath -

"… Elena, " my heart fluttered when he said my name, "I am a vampire."

**Stefan's POV:**

I told my secret to her. She looked at me with amazement. I didn't read any fear on her face and she looked into my eyes and grabbed my face. I inwardly shuttered at her touch and she whispered, "Stefan… I.. I don't know what to say… You're a vampire? My father told me stories of vampires when I was younger but I just thought they were a myth and now…." She blurted and backed off. I widened my eyes and closed the space between us and carefully grabbed her face to look into mine.

"Elena, in the very short time that I have gotten to know you, please know that I would never, ever hurt you" I explained in all seriousness, "Besides, I don't hunt humans, I hunt animals." I knew that wasn't the best thing to say when her dog had just run off but I wanted her to feel safe with me. She looked at the ground and waited about 30 seconds before she responded. I wanted to know her thoughts, what she was feeling. I couldn't tell if she was afraid because she's just so sad all the time. She looked up at me with tears forming in her eyes.

"I killed them you know, my parents" she whispered out, "I had a recital in January in Manhattan with the NYC Ballet Company and my parents told me they couldn't make it since my dad had a benefit at the hospital. I was so angry that they could always make it to Jeremy's art exhibits and Aunt Jenna's poetry readings but the one time I really needed them, they weren't going to make it." She closed her eyes, and breathed deeply. I didn't say anything, I just watched her. "They made it, the show was about to start when I saw them getting their seats in the front row. I felt victorious; I was so elated they came to watch me dance. That night… that night was the best I've ever danced. I got a standing ovation and my parents beamed with pride. My dad yelled over the crowd and said 'that's my daughter, that's _MY _daughter' and my mom had tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. I smiled so hard and so big my face was aching after I got off the stage. They hugged and kissed me and told me how proud they were of me. It was late by the time we left since some scouts from other dance companies wanted to speak with me. My dad didn't want to stay over night so we drove the five hour car ride without any breaks. The car was quiet the whole ride home but it was peaceful until I woke up flying face first into the back of the passenger seat and to hear my dad yelling and my mom unconscious. We were submerged in water, the car was beginning to fill and I was panicking. The doors were jammed from the pressure of the water. My dad stayed calm and knew that this would be our end. He told me how proud of me he was, how proud of all of us he was. I said we were the best thing to happen to him and he recanted memories of our family to keep me calm. I reached over to my mom but my dad looked at me with sorrow in his eyes when I knew that she was gone. I didn't have time to react since the water was starting to go over my head. He looked at me and told me that I was going to make it but I knew I wasn't. I had no way of being saved. I felt the air beginning to escape from me when he looked at me and smiled. I passed out from the lack of oxygen and woke up a few hours later in a hospital bed. My face was so swollen from hitting the back of the passenger seat, the only way of them identifying me was from my birthmark on the back of my thigh. We drove off Wickery Bridge… we were five minutes from home." I was stiff. My body was to tense that I was sure I was going to break my jaw from clenching so hard… why didn't I recognize her before? I just couldn't believe that same girl that I saved that night was now standing in front of me. I couldn't look at her but worst of all, I couldn't muster up the courage to tell her how she survived. It was her shaky breath that snapped my attention back to her.

"So," she hesitantly continued, "I don't care if you aren't human because I'm a monster myself. I killed my parents and deprived my family of love." She was crying now. I didn't care that she called me a monster because she's right, I am a monster but I couldn't think of myself when she's hurting like this. I went over to her and stood in front of her. I didn't want her to think I was taking advantage of her so I was surprised when she closed the space between us and wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her face into my chest. She was warm, her body against mine felt so right. I could hear the blood swimming through her veins, the swooshing was like a melody but something, a feeling I wasn't quite yet sure what to call, stopped me from ripping her throat out. What I did next was unspeakable and dangerous but in that moment, I didn't care. It was selfish of me, but I just needed to try it.

I pulled her head up to mine and looked into her empty eyes until my lips reached hers. She was still as first but then opened her mouth to kiss me back. Her breath was warm and her lips tasted like nothing I've ever had before. I held her face firmly and close to mine when I felt her tongue slip inside of my mouth, I lost it then and there. I felt so much passion from her that it made me weak; I had to stop to contain myself. My eyes were strained, veins popping out, and my fangs began to draw when I pushed away and turned around. I could feel her eyes on my back.

She touched my shoulder and I stood completely still.

"Stefan, don't hide from me," She said. I turned around and she looked at me with care and traced her fingers under my eyes. I instantly felt as ease and she genuinely smiled. Her smile was the most exquisite site I've ever seen. It was then that I knew that I was falling in love with her. Before I could process more on the thought, I heard the rustling of leaves on the ground and was immediately in protector mode. I stood in front of Elena waiting for whatever was coming and then I heard the small panting of a dog and eased when I heard Baxter come running full speed at Elena with a stick in his mouth.

Elena gently pushed me away and was laughing out of relief. She was leaning down kissing and petting her dog and seemed genuinely happy. "Don't ever run away again Baxter!" She scolded at him with a waving finger. Baxter just wagged his tail wanting Elena to play fetch with him. She gently removed the stick from his mouth and cradled his head in her hands and told him it wasn't time to play but to go home instead.

"Can I walk you home?" I asked her with nervousness. She looked at me with kind eyes and smiled with a closed mouth and said, "Sure."

**Elena's POV:**

Stefan walked me home and it was the first time I genuinely felt okay since my parents died. Having that feeling of normalcy was rare for me so I didn't question it since I didn't want to doubt the feeling. For a majority of the entire fifteen minute walk back to my house, we stayed silent. Stefan walked next to me and it seemed like he was trying to not walk faster than me. I will admit, I was exhausted, I didn't have the best day prior and then potentially losing my dog and hearing about Stefan was draining me. I stumbled a bit and Stefan stopped and looked at me with a smirk.

"You're tired, aren't you?" He asked with a hint of amusement. I just slowly gazed at him with my tired eyes and just raised an eyebrow and nodded no. He shook his head in disapproval and chuckled. That was the first time I heard Stefan laugh and it was hypnotic. I gazed at him lovingly, and he turned his head slightly and narrowed his eyes and asked, "What?"

I pursed my lips, rose my eyebrows and nonchalantly said, "You have a cute laugh." I couldn't believe I just said that… _a cute laugh? Really Elena? That's the best you've got? _I wanted to smack myself in the head but thenStefan looked at me and sheepishly smiled. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and side hugged me.

"Come on," he said lightheartedly, "Let's get you home."

We got to our house and Stefan allowed me to walk in front of him. I opened the door and left it open with hopes of him following me but he looked at me with discomfort.

"Are you alright?" I asked. Stefan looked at me with ease and nodded.

"I can't come inside without being invited in," He lightly stated, "It's a vampire thing. But listen to me very carefully, if someone is invited in, they can come at anytime so be wary about who you let in." He said caringly. I began to wonder if there were other vampires near here that would give Stefan a reason to tell me this but I digressed from the thought.

"Ohhh yeah, right, I will" I said. I pursed my lips and looked at him,"Stefan, please do come in." I said in my best English accent. Stefan just laughed and snuck into the house with me. I looked at the grandfather clock and it read 5:13 AM. I still had time before Jenna woke up. Jeremy would sleep in until noon since it's Saturday. I turned around and looked up at Stefan and smiled. I have no freaking idea why I did what I did next but I felt gravitated to. I reached up and kissed him softly. He kissed me back and put his hands on my waist. I stopped and blushed at the thought of Stefan being affectionate with me of all people. Stefan flashed his signature smirk and whisked me up into my room. He opened the door and put me down.

"Thank you Stefan." I sincerely said. He cocked his head to the side with curiosity reaching his eyes.

"For what?" He replied.

"For not ripping my throat out….." His eyes widened and his head dropped, "Stefan" I exclaimed, "I'm just kidding!" He looked back up with me with frustration and I knew I had to explain my sense of humor to him if we were going to have a relationship.

"Stefan, there's a few things you need to know about my personality. One: I'm sarcastic. Two: I'm sarcastic. And three: I'm sarcastic. I've always been this way and unfortunately, I just can't seem to kick it" I said enthusiastically as I playfully punched his arm.

Stefan narrowed his smiling eyes and began to couch a bit as if he was ready to prey on me. I wasn't worried though; I have been face-to-face with death. If Stefan were to kill me, I really think he would be doing me a favor.

"You shouldn't have done that," Stefan said in a playful menacing tone, "Now you're going to get it!" He growled. I shrieked when he reached out to me and tried to pull me into a bear hug to squeeze the life out of me.

"Elena?" I heard Jenna call from the hallway. I glanced at Stefan with fear and back to the hallway and went to address him again but he disappeared. I quickly looked around my room to see if he was there before I went to my door. I opened my door to see Jenna peeking her head from her bedroom door.

"Are you okay?" Jenna asked suspiciously. I laughed nervously.

"Yeah, Aunt Jenna I'm fine. I walked into my dresser after going to the bathroom. Sorry for waking you up." She yawned and looked at me with relief.

"It's cool child, I was up anyway. I'm heading to the University today to work on my thesis and then I'm going to visit some friends so I'll be back tomorrow afternoon. I think Jeremy will be staying at his friend's house tonight, will you be alright by yourself?" Jenna asked tiredly. I nodded and genuinely smiled at her and she warmly smiled back.

"You know," she started, "You seem happier…did something or should I say _someone _cause this?" She raised her eyebrows up and down and smirked at me.

"Wellllllllll," I said, "Maybe and maybe not" I repeated the same action she gave to me which caused her to roll her eyes and laugh.

"Seriously, spill!" She demanded. I walked over to her room and she waved me over to her bed. I pulled back the covers on her side and I lay next to her.

"Well, did Jeremy tell you what happened to me yesterday?" I asked. Jenna nodded and listened intently. "Anyway, there was guy who stayed with me the whole time I was out. He helped me until Jeremy got there and stayed until I left. He was so concerned Aunt Jenna, like he cared about me or something." She looked at me with excitement.

"Um, well duh! How can anyone pass you by without having some sort of infatuation with you?" She said in a flirty tone. I kicked her leg and she laughed, "In all seriousness though, that was very thoughtful for him to stay with you, to make sure you're alright. What's his name?" She asked excitedly.

"Stefan," I said proudly. I smiled while she batted her eyes at me and then she went into mom mode.

"You seem into him… as your guardian, I need to tell you to be careful, I understand how teenage relationships work Elena, I was young once too," I rolled my eyes and began to protest before she cut me off, "But as your favorite, most fun Aunt, I say have fun with him and be happy. Now, the most important question of them all….IS HE CUTE?!" Jenna exclaimed.

"OH MY GOD! YES! He's so handsome, his hair is better than mine, it's perfectly tousled and his smile is heartbreaking. I think I really like him Aunt Jenna, I really do." She nudged my arm and brightly smiled at me

"Well, I have to leave, text me and we'll talk more about Stefan," she commanded, "Love you kiddo" she said as she got out of bed and left the room to trot down the stairs.

"Love you too!" I yelled back. I heard the door close downstairs, Jenna's engine start, and the car leave the driveway. I walked over to Jeremy's room to see if I had woken him up. I slightly opened his door to see him sprawled out on his bed with his headphones on. I chuckled at the sight of him. I took off his headphones and placed them next to his nightstand. I covered him with the blanket again and left his room.

I forgot about Stefan and quickly ran to my room. He was nowhere to be found though. I was kind of disappointed that he left. I shouldn't have been though since it's not like we're together… or are we? I wasn't sure what we were. I walked over to my bed to lay down and on my pillow, I found a note:

_Dear Miss Elena Gilbert,_

_I left for home so you can go back to sleep for a little while. If you are not busy tonight, I would love for you to come over for dinner. Come by at 7:30 for the best damn pasta you'll ever indulge in. It would be wonderful to take tonight as an opportunity to get to know each other. If you need anything: 747-0892-3517_

_Hope to see you tonight. Sleep well._

_ Stefan Salvatore_

_P.S. The secret to my hair is saltwater spray but no one has a more heartbreaking smile than you do._

I brushed my fingers over his handwriting and smiled. I read the note at least 5 times and my heart fluttered each time. I rested my head against the pillow and thought about what happened earlier that morning, about how Stefan and I confided so deeply. We hardly knew each other for 24 hours but it felt right. I drifted off into a deep sleep remembering how Stefan had kissed me. It was the best feeling I have ever felt and I was anticipating the next time it would happen.

**Stefan's POV:**

I left Elena's house with nothing but happiness on my shoulders. I felt amazing. I told her my deepest secret and she didn't run away. I've never met a more magnificent person in my entire existence. I decided to walk home to enjoy how I was feeling. I haven't felt this good.. ever, she fills a void inside of me. When I think of Elena, I'm just consumed by her. There's nothing about her that isn't perfect. Was I falling in love with her? Indeed I was. My head told me not to get ahead of myself but my heart told me to go with it. Ever since my mother told me before her death to follow my heart, I always have. I arrived home and while rounding a corner to the kitchen, I felt someone pin me to the ground. I quickly pinned them over and drew out my fangs to find someone I least expected.

"Lexi?" I breathed, "What.. What the hell are you doing here?!" I asked with excitement. Lexi was my best friend, she's been with me through my worst and helped me get to my best.

"Surprise! You didn't think I would miss your first day of senior year, did you?" She asked with offense. We both stood up and I laughed at her.

"Well, you're actually a day late but it's better than never" I teased. She frowned and shoved me into the wall.

"Shut up Stefan! I got…. Held up" She said with a smirk. I shook my head with false disapproval.

"I'm not even going to ask," I laughed, "But seriously, I wasn't expecting you. How have you been?"

"Ya know Stef, just wandering the world searching for infinite love" She mocked, "Speaking of love, who's got your heart strings around her finger?" She asked in a flirty manner. I just chuckled nervously and walked into the kitchen. I knew that Lexi wouldn't approve of me loving a human since she had a tragic experience from loving one. So I digressed and attempted to talk about something else but Lexi wouldn't budge.

"Stefan Salvatore, you better fess up now or I will rip your head off" She said threateningly.

"Okay! Okay! Jesus Lexi, you don't give up do you?" I asked with annoyance.

"Nope!" She popped the 'p' and looked at me to go on.

"Her name is Elena. She's the most exquisite, selfless, and not to mention, hilarious person I've ever met. Remember how I told you I had no purpose of coming back? Now I do, she's given me a reason to make the best of what I've got. She's been through Hell and back these past 8 months yet she doesn't care that I'm a vampire-"

"WAIT. I'm sorry? Excuse me, but did you just say she knows that you're a vampire? Well shit, Stefan! You've been back for three days and you've already poured your heart out to her?" She scolded at me. Lexi always told me to be cautious about what I say to people, "What if she tells someone? Did you think about that when you told her?! She could get you killed!" She yelled at me.

I put my hands up and shook my head, "Listen Lexi, I understand your concern but you know that I wouldn't just tell someone something like that unless I had trust in them, correct? And besides, not that it's any of your business, but I had to tell her. I can't keep something like that from her… I just can't." I mumbled with defeat in my voice.

"Christ Stefan, you're in love with her, aren't you?" She asked with disbelief. I didn't have the courage to look up at Lexi when she asked me but that was when she knew the answer to her own question. Lexi got up and walked over to me and put her hands in mine. She was calm now and she was ready to apologize

"Sorry Stef, I didn't mean to freak out that bad. I just can't bear something happening to you since you're all that I've got in this shitty world," I lightly laughed at her apology and looked at her.

"It's okay Lexi. I know but you have to trust me with this one. This time… it's different." I trailed off thinking about Elena and Lexi laughed at me with amusement.

"Okay, lover boy! I get it. Now what are we doing today?" She asked with excitement. I looked at her sympathetically since I already made plans with Elena tonight. She tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrows.

"You've got a date tonight, don't ya?" She said teasingly. I rolled my eyes at her and nodded. "Well, don't mind me then! I'll be out of here before she shows up. I'm going to shower and then you can tell me all about…. what's her name again?" She said mockingly.

I grinned widely at just the thought of her.

"Elena" I said boastfully, "Her name is Elena."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This chapter is full of heartache but ends on a good note. Enjoy and let me know what you think! Warning: this chapter has mild sexual content and adult language. Enjoy!**

**Stefan's POV: **

I still had a while before I had to pick up Elena so I decided that I should feed before she came over. It was an overcast day, which was perfect since it made hearing animals a lot easier. I didn't' realize how hungry I was until I heard a Buck a few miles away, I immediately preyed on it and when I captured it, I drained every ounce of blood he held. After I was done, I just stared at the animal, slightly disgusted with myself but also sort of proud for not draining a human instead. I was constantly having an internal battle with myself. Am I good or am I bad? I didn't know, I honestly didn't. When I'm with Elena, I feel human but when I smell her, I am quickly reminded of whom I truly am. I can't win but that's not what's important right now. Right now, all I can think about is how quickly I was falling for Elena. I hadn't even knew her for that long but I just knew she was the love of my life.

I was thinking about Elena when I heard something snap in front of me. I must have been a branch from an animal or something so I just ignored and turned around to walk back home. When I turned, I saw someone I didn't initially recognize. It was a male, he was tall, wearing a black hoodie so all I could see was the bottom half of his face. He was smiling, which was weird and a little creepy. I just assumed he was a hiker or something but when he started to walk towards me and then disappear at the speed of light, I knew he was a vampire. The problem? I didn't know who he was. I just brushed it off; maybe it was Damon playing with me so I didn't bother to think more of it.

**Elena's POV:**

UGH! Stefan was going to be here in a few hours and I had absolutely no idea what to wear! I called Caroline for reinforcements and she happily obliged only if she was allowed to buy me clothes before she came over. Before I could even protest she hung up; I love that girl but sometimes she just drives me insane. It was quiet in my house, Jenna was out and Jeremy had gone to stay over Matt's since some new video game was released today, but I didn't mind. I clicked on my iTunes and played some music to keep me entertained until Caroline showed up. A song popped up that made me thinks of Stefan. _Elena, what is wrong with you!_ I wanted to smack myself for comparing the two but I couldn't help it. "First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes started up and I just collapsed, smiling on my bed. _Was I falling for someone I didn't really know about? Am I really okay with Stefan being a vampire? Am I ready to allow myself to be happy? Yes, yes, and… yes. _It was time I moved on. It's what my parents would have wanted. If they saw me now, they would be sad and I don't want them to be sad. I miss them, but I know they're in a better place. I smiled and I felt okay.

A knock at the front door had pulled me out of my trance. I must be Caroline so I just yelled for her to come in. I heard the door open and close. I expected Caroline to come running up the stairs with 7 bags in hand but I didn't hear a sound. Thinking she may have gone into the kitchen, I decided to walk down to meet her there.

"You know Caroline, I love you and all but don't sneak in my house without saying hel-" I turned the corner to go into the kitchen and no one was there. It wasn't like my house was very big so I know Caroline wasn't hiding anywhere. There was an ominous silence to the house and I sort of got worried. I reached for my phone in my back pocket and dialed Caroline's number expecting the ringer to go off somewhere in the house, it never did.

"Hey Elena! I'm sorry I'm running late, stuck in traffic, I'll be there in about 30 minutes!" Caroline answered and immediately hung up. I was kind of freaking out now. I decided it would be best to hide out in my room. I ran up the stairs, tripping along the way, and slammed my bedroom door shut and locked it. I grabbed Stefan's note from earlier and dialed his number as fast as I can. It only rang twice before Stefan greeted me.

"Hey Stefan, it's Elena!" I tried to sound as cheery as possible, "You wouldn't be hiding out in my house would you?" Stefan took a few seconds to respond but when he did, it haunted me.

"No, I'm still at home Elena. Besides, I wouldn't just walk in your house without you letting me in. Is something wrong?" His voice sounded concerned but I just laughed nervously and answered him as best as I could.

"No. It's just… I thought Caroline knocked on the door so I let her in from yelling upstairs but when I went downstairs, she wasn't there and –" _beep, beep. _My phone had died! I mentally kicked myself and grunted as I threw my phone on my bed. I was trying to calm down when I heard slow, heavy footsteps walk up to my room and stop right in front of my door. Whoever it was, was humming. It was humming the song I was playing before. I was officially creeped out. I moved to my door and was tempted to open it to see if it was Jeremy fucking with me but then it banged on it with such force, I jump back 5 feet and fell into my desk. I was scared, it wasn't human. It jiggled my doorknob and started laughing.

"I know you're in there," the British accent cooed, "Where's your boyfriend now, love? Hmm?" He knew Stefan? What… I don't… then it clicked, whoever this is, he is a vampire. I was sure I was going to die because the second time he banged on my door, he snarled and kept banging with an incredibly force. I didn't know what else to do. I slowly coward into my closet and waited for him to break into my room and have his way with me. I for sure thought I was going to die when the banging stopped and a second later my bedroom door opened. I tried so hard not to breathe in case he could hear me. I closed my eyes tightly waiting for my head to be ripped off when I heard him open my closet doors and say my name.

"Elena?" I knew that voice instantly. It was Stefan. I slowly opened my eyes to see him inches away from me with hundreds of emotions forming on his face. He was trying his best to stayed composed. "Are you hurt? Are you okay? Did he touch you?" Stefan asked through clenched teeth. I couldn't find my words yet so I just nodded no and he seemed to have calmed down a bit. I was paralyzed with fear but so thankful that Stefan came to my aid.

**Stefan's POV: **

I was just walking into the kitchen with fresh groceries in my arms for tonight's dinner with Elena when I felt my phone vibrating in my front pocket. I placed the bags on the counter and reached for my phone and smiled widely when I saw Elena's name flash on the screen.

"Hello?" I said as coolly as possible. _Nice one, Stef! Way to be smooth. _I didn't even have to wait half a second for Elena to respond.

"Hey Stefan, it's Elena!" She sounded weird, like she was jumpy or something, "You wouldn't be hiding out in my house would you?" her voice hitched at the end of her question and I was scared to reply.

"No, I'm still at home Elena. Besides, I wouldn't just walk in your house without you letting me in. Is something wrong?" I tried to sound normal but I was growing concerned. She just laughed timidly and then preceded to tell me how she thought Caroline was in her house but she wasn't and then the call dropped. I instantly felt something was wrong. I had dialed her number twice before I left the house and decided to go over there. I was just going to run there but I figured Elena wouldn't want to walk the five miles back here so I go into my car and sped off to her house. I knew something was wrong. I felt it as I got closer to her house. And then while I was a mile away, I heard an aggressive banging and growling. I knew it was another vampire. I pushed my car into 6th gear and pushed the Hell out of the accelerator and made it to Elena's house 4 minutes later. I hastily parked the car in her driveway and saw her bedroom light had been off. I was sick at the thought of Elena being hurt so I let myself in the house and saw him standing in front of Elena's bedroom door and then vamp speed down the stairs and out of the front door before I could even react and beat the shit out of him. I still had no idea who he was. I let that go with I heard Elena's shaky breath exhale from her body. I went upstairs, opened her door and found her not to be in her room. I heard the slightest movement from her closet and knew that's where Elena hid. I pried the close door open to find Elena coward down with her knees against her chest and her eyes closed shut. She looks like she was waiting to be killed, that broke my heart. I tried to find my voice before I called out to her. I called her name and she reacted instantly to my voice. She looked so scared, I felt so horrible. I know I can't constantly protect her but it's in my nature to want to. Elena just looked at me with vacant eyes and I asked her if she was hurt or anything and just nodded no. I felt a little better that she wasn't physically hurt. I pulled Elena from her closet and she walked over to her bed and sat on it. She patted to the spot next to her and I sat down and cradled my arm around her. It took her a few minutes to respond but when she said, she sounded surprisingly calm.

**Narrator's POV:**

"Stefan.. Who was that?" Elena didn't look up at Stefan but he could tell she already knew that it was a vampire. Stefan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Elena, I have no idea. Before I could beat the shit out of him, he had already ran out the front door. I'm so sorry." Stefan sounded defeated, as if it was his fault that the vampire convinced Elena he was Caroline. Elena pulled away from Stefan and got up and stood in front of him. She took her arms and wrapped it around Stefan's head and pulled him into an embrace against her stomach. Stefan inhaled her scent and sighed. Elena stepped away from Stefan and rested her hand on his face.

"Stefan, do not blame yourself for what happened. I mean, yeah, it scared the Hell out of me and for a second, I thought I wasn't going to make it but as I was sitting in that closet, waiting my demise, I thought of you. In fact, I've been thinking about you all day. So please, don't you dare put this on yourself." Elena smiled gently as Stefan and Stefan just gawked at her. Elena leaned in and kissed Stefan's forehead and he exhaled and grabbed both of Elena's wrists with his hands and pulled her into a kiss. This kiss was different though; it was an "I-thought-I-lost-you-I'm-never-leaving-you-again" type of kiss. It was long, rough but filled with love nonetheless.

**Elena's POV:  
**I know what happened tonight was a big deal but I didn't want that to ruin my evening with Stefan. I still hoped he wanted to have our date and until he asked me about that, I laid next to him on my bed. It took about ten minutes for Stefan's breathing to regulate. The incident, the kiss, it was a bit too much for Stefan. After Stefan calmed down he rolled to his side and looked at me with his elbow propped up to support his weight.

"Do you still want to come over? I mean, I know it's crazy to ask but-" I interrupted Stefan by pressing my finger against his lips to hush him up. I widely smiled and him and said yes. Stefan smiled at me and looked sincerely happy. I leaned in to kiss him with a knock at my front door caused me to jump. Stefan shot up and went into protector mode. I heard Caroline yelling.

"ELENA GILBERT! Do not leave me out here to wait! Who's car is in the drive way? EEELEEENNNAAA!" Yup, it was definitely Caroline. Stefan smiled a little and went downstairs with me to greet Caroline. I opened the door and Caroline helped herself in and started scolding me.

"Jeez Elena! I was only waiting five minutes for you to open to damn door! These bags are heavy! Why haven't you done your hair yet? Did you even shower- um, who's that?" Caroline looked behind me and cheekily smiled and winked her eye at Stefan.

I just looked at Caroline and pressed my mouth into a firm line and gave her that "not now" looks. She thankfully took the hint and handed the bags to Stefan.

"Take these into Elena's room please, I assume you already know where that is," She said while smirking. Stefan just smiled politely and went upstairs.

"Elena… you have some serious explaining to do! Is that your date? He's GORGEOUS!" Caroline was squealing like a little schoolgirl, I actually joined in too. It was nice to see Caroline happy because I was too.

"Yes.. He's great, perfect actually" I said quiet enough so that Stefan couldn't hear. Caroline beamed and clapped her hands at a rapid pace and jumped up and down. She wrapped her arm around me and gave me a huge smile.

"Ah…to be in love." Caroline teased. In love? I wasn't in love…? I can see myself falling in love with Stefan though but it's too soon, I don't know who he is really. My thought quickly vanished when Stefan appeared at the bottom of the stairs again. Caroline just looked at him and then me and winked and rushed upstairs to my room to prepare for my date.

I meet Stefan at my stairs and told him to make himself comfortable and to help himself to anything he'd like. She smiled at me and kissed my forehead and gracefully strolled into the living room. He is perfect.

**Stefan's POV:**

I waited to Elena in her living room; there are tons of family pictures all over the walls and on the fireplace mantle. It was a welcoming and warm space, I admire how cluttered everything looked; it looked like a real home. I waited for what seemed forever, I just wanted to have my date with Elena. I tried to distract myself but watching something on TV but I would hear Elena talk about me to Caroline once in a while and I couldn't help but listen. It was all good things of course, but just the fact that Elena was talking about me made me the happiest man alive. I was looking around again when I saw a pictured that captured my attention. It was Elena; she couldn't have been more than six years old. She was standing in a giant pink tutu with her parents, it must have been at the end of a recital since she was holding a bouquet of flowers bigger than her, and the flowers were peonies. I quickly smiled at the thought since I picked some up as a table piece earlier at the market. I heard someone go into the kitchen from the other staircase. It was Elena and she was by herself.

"Stefan… Stefan" Elena hastily whispered, I walked into the kitchen to meet with her and she was looking at me with sincerity. "I'm sorry it's taking so long, Caroline… well you know how she is. But I just wanted to let you know it shouldn't be too much longer and that I miss you" Elena pouted a little and it warmed my heart. I traced her face with the back of my head and grinned at her. "What were you doing anyway? You don't have to stand the whole time." Elena asked. I walked hand in hand with her into the living room and pointed at the picture that I was admiring earlier.

"You were incredibly adorable. And don't take that too much into context because now you are beautiful." I positively said. Elena laughed and looked at the picture with sad eyes. I knew the death of her parents was still a fresh wound and I hoped that I could get Elena through it. Elena's demeanor changed and she started to shut down. She did her best to make it seem like it didn't bother her but I'm very good at reading people so I just knew. Elena turned away from me to walk up the stairs and to no one in particular said, in an exhausted tone, "I'll be ready soon."

About thirty minutes later I heard Elena's bedroom door open and the light patter of feet come down the stairs. I thought it was Elena so I walked out of the living room and to the staircase to greet her. Caroline could probably see the disappointment in my face when I saw her instead of Elena. Caroline cleared her throat and presented her arms towards the top of the staircase.

"May I present, Elena Gilbert" Caroline proudly announced. Just then, Elena came down the stairs. She was wearing a fitted navy lace dress with 3/4 sleeves with nude flats; her hair with pulled back into a high ponytail and she wore light make-up and had the most fake but still beautiful smile plastered on her face. She looked so exquisite but so uncomfortable; I couldn't help but gaze at her with amazement and sadness. She finally reached the bottom of the stairs and awkwardly looked at Caroline and then to me. She bowed her head out of embarrassment.

"Caroline went a little overboard… it's a bit much for just dinner." Elena softly said. Before Caroline could interject and I opened my mouth to speak,

"Elena, you look absolutely beautiful. I'm actually at a loss for words." I slowly commented. She looked up at me and laughed a little. God, she was so beautiful. Don't get me wrong, Elena always looks beautiful but knowing that tonight was our first official date, Elena gets some extra brownie points. "Are you ready to go?" I asked her with a huge smile. She nodded yes and then hugged Caroline and whispered a thank you. Caroline told her to be happy and to enjoy her night with "Mr. GQ, Man of the Year" aka me. Caroline left before we did so Elena could gather whatever she was bringing over and so she could lock up the house. I waited outside the front door for her anticipating our date.

**Elena's POV:**

Stefan waited for me outside while I made sure all the doors and windows were locked in the house. I wasn't sure if a bolted lock could keep a vampire out of my house, but I felt a little better knowing everything was locked. I closed the front door to my house and turned around to see Stefan leaning against his car in the driveway. My jaw dropped a little when I saw his car. Stefan looked at his car and back at me.

"It's a – "

"It's a 1963 Porsche 356B Karmann Coupe!" I blurted out. Stefan's eyes filled with excitement and he stood up straight.

"You speak car?" Stefan asked with surprise.

"I do, my dad couldn't Jeremy into them since my mom got him into art so I was picked to learn about cars. I don't know everything about them but I do know the models." I said confidently.

"My, my, Miss Gilbert. You're more interesting than I thought" he teased and winked at me while flashing his dazzling smile. He held the door open for me and I bashfully got in. Stefan got in the car and reach over to put my seatbelt on.

"I can do that myself you know…" I said in a slightly rude tone. I didn't mean it; I just don't like to be babied. He just looked at me with sorry eyes.

"Of course you can, but the seatbelt is a little jammed and I'm afraid you don't have the proper strength to get it unjammed." He looked at me with a small smile with a hint of sadness in his eyes. I knew I was being a tiny bit of a bitch but I'm just a little upset from looking at the picture earlier. I grunted and looked at Stefan with sorry eyes.

"I'm so sorry Stefan… I'm just annoyed that Caroline took so long.." I quietly lied. He pulled back and looked at me with curiosity, his head titled as if he was trying to read me. After a few seconds of me staring straight down on my lap, I heard Stefan turn the engine on and shift into gear.

Stefan toyed with the radio until a song came on that I just couldn't help but sadly smile at.

_There was a time; I used to look into my father's eyes_

_In a happy home, I was a king I had a golden throne_

_Those days are gone, now the memory's on the wall_

I inwardly shuttered and started to cry. I hate crying but I just couldn't help it. That was a song my family and I would dance around the table in the kitchen on Sunday mornings. My dad loved screaming 'Don't you worry, don't you worry child' and my mom would finish the lyric 'Cause Heaven's got a plan for you' and Jeremy and I would just jump around and set the table for breakfast. _I miss them so much. I can't do this. _I thought I said that in my head but when I actually said it out loud.

Stefan glanced over me with a concerning look and pulled the car over. He put the car in park and got out without saying a word.

**Stefan's POV:**

I really shouldn't have put her seatbelt on for her but it was just instinctual. I don't think that's what set her off though, ever since we were looking at the family pictures in her house, Elena kind of shut down. I didn't know how else to comfort her except for her to have her space. Elena doesn't like to be coddled and I respect that but sometimes, I just want to throw that out the window and hold her until the end of time. I know Elena needs it, the comfort, the pressure of my arms around her but she's too headstrong to admit it. It's okay though, in time, she will crack and allow herself to be happy.

I was scanning the radio for a station that was soothing but when I heard "Don't You Worry Child" starting to play, I had to listen to it. I love the beat of the song; it's uplifting despite the sad lyrics. I didn't even think about Elena and how the song might affect her until I heard her inhale and whimper a little. I realized. _Oh, fuck. _I felt horrible, she was unraveling and all I was supposed to do was allow her to sit there and handle it by herself. My head was telling me to just let her deal with her sadness herself but my heart was telling me to comfort her. And as always, I follow my heart. I pulled the car over and go out of the car and walked over to Elena's door. She looked at me with confusion through her teary eyes. I opened her door and squatted down in front of her. She furrowed her brows and looked at me with tired, sad eyes.

I pressed my mouth into a firm line and look up at her with gentle eyes and extended my hand to her. She went to speak, but I just shook my head and moved my hand forward more. She accepted it and got out of the car. I never realized how fragile she was until I saw her standing there, defeated. She crossed her arms over the chest and waited for me to speak. I widely smiled at her and she looked at me with scrutiny. The song on the station ended and that Miley Cyrus song "We Can't Stop" started playing and I noticed a change in Elena's heartbeat. Her heart sounded _happy. _I knew she liked this song so I just grinned at her and she slowly smiled back.

I started dancing to the beat, moving my hips to the bass of the song and mouthing the words to Elena. She looked at me and started laughing, she was smiling through her teary eyes and I totally wasn't expecting her to do what she did next.

Elena started dancing. I couldn't believe it! She knew exactly how to sway to the beat, as if she was choreographing to the song. She moved in circles, swaying her hips to the song so perfectly I slowly stopped and just admired her. She truly was a magnificent dancer and it was obvious dancing made her happy. After gawking at her, I joined her and we danced together. Elena's hips moved right against mine in perfect harmony. I kept singing to Elena and she kept singing back to me. I was in pure bliss and she was too. Elena kept laughing and all I could do was smile at her, she was enjoying herself. The song ended and the station cut to a commercial. We were inches a part breathing heavy from our dance session. My eyes were piercing into hers and she closed her eyes, smiled, and whispered, "Thank you" and planted a gentle but sincere kiss on my lips. I was ecstatic, not because she kissed me, but because she felt better. I will spend my entire existence making Elena happy if I have to because she deserves it, she deserves nothing less than to be happy.

**Elena's POV:**

I owe everything to Stefan. Stefan was becoming the light in my light. He knows me better than I know myself and it comforts me in ways I cannot describe. The ride to Stefan's house after our dance party was happy. He held my hand and told me how Mystic Falls was back in it's hey day. Stefan is so intelligent; I never realized how smart and passionate he was until he was vividly recanting stories about his childhood and his family. I wanted to ask Stefan more about his family but I figured I should save that for a rainy day. We pulled up to the Salvatore Boarding House and it looked the same way as I remembered it. Stefan turned the engine off and enthusiastically claimed, "Home sweet home!" He opened his door and got out and just as I was going to turn the handle, he had already opened the door for me. I looked at him with a gaped mouth and he flashed a wicked smile at me.

"Vampire speed is like 1,000 times faster than human speed. One of the perks." He said nonchalantly, he knew I understood and grabbed my hand to help me out of the car.

"Always the gentleman," I giggled as he bowed his head and kissed my hand as if I was royalty. I curtsied and Stefan rolled his eyes and laughed. We stood outside the house for a few minutes just to admire the architecture.

"Jeremy and I used to play in the woods around here when we were kids. We were always enchanted by this place but we never dared to go in since we were scared. One time, I swore I saw someone through the upstairs window but I didn't think anything of it" I said. Stefan stopped gazing at the house and directed his attention towards me.

"That was I… I would come back and visit the house to make sure it was kept up to standards and I would always see two little munchkins running around the property but I didn't care as long as they were having fun. You were adorable though, your hair was up and sticking out in ten different directions from running around. You couldn't have been older than 7. I hope I don't sound weird, I just have a really good memory." Stefan beamed and I was astonished.

"NO! Not at all! I'm amazed actually," I smiled at him, "You thought I was cute? I was always called the ugly duckling by my relatives since Jeremy got the Gilbert looks and I…well, I just got this" I stated while putting my hands around my face. Stefan took his hand and caressed my face and looked at me adoringly.

"I like _this _face of yours," He said sensually, "I like everything about you." He leaned into me and was a few inches from my face and my heart began to beat excessively. Stefan smiled with his eyes and softly laughed since he could hear my heart flutter from his compliment and touch. He leaned in to kiss me and I was ready to embrace it when I heard someone open the door to the house.

"Oh, am I interrupting something?" I heard a sarcastic voice say. I looked to the doorway and Stefan leaned back and did the same. Stefan had a cold look on his face and rolled his eyes at the man.

"Hello there pretty lady, I'm Damon. Stefan's older brother" Damon said as he walked over and reached out his hand to shake mine. I reached out my hand and instead of shaking it, Damon had kissed it instead; who was this guy anyway? I don't know what came over me but instead of gracefully introducing myself, I came off as a bitch.

"One: Don't do that again. And two: I'm Elena, Stefan's…. girlfriend." Damon looked at me with amusement and false offense and laughed. Damon smiled and looked over to Stefan who was laughing now.

"Damn Stef, she's a keeper alright. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to go to the bar and senselessly drink myself away. Adios kiddies, don't do anything I wouldn't do" Damon winked and walked to his car. Stefan shook his head and looked at me waiting to say something about Damon. I just smiled and took his hand and waited for him to bring me inside.

"Would you like a tour?" He asked quietly. I beamed with excitement and agreed. Stefan and I walked hand in hand into his house; I finally felt at place and it was all due to Stefan, everything was starting to become because of Stefan.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

We ended out tour in the kitchen so Stefan can get started on dinner. He offered me water and I didn't realize how thirsty I was so I graciously accepted. Stefan was a natural in the kitchen. He even wore an apron and a towel on his left shoulder. He looked perfect; I swear there isn't anything this guy can't do. I looked around the kitchen only to find a state of the art stove with matching ovens and a hanging pot rack above the breakfast island that was adorned with copper pots. I loved it. Stefan glanced at me with sweet eyes and continued cutting the vegetables for whatever he was making. I took a sip of my water keeping my eyes on Stefan when I could see a question forming at Stefan's lips but he was too nervous to say anything. I knew what the question was so I decided to answer him.

"You're wondering if I meant what I said to Damon, aren't you?" I pressed. He looked at me and smiled with his eyes.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to." Stefan calmly stated.

I got up to walk over to him and I stood next to him. I leaned against his side and sighed.

"Well, Stefan. Here's the thing. I want to be your girlfriend but in order for that to happen, we need to know more about each other. I know that sounds silly but I need to know if you have a crazy ex-girlfriend that's going to try and get in the way of us. And so that I'm ready to drop-kick her in the face if she does try." I stated. Stefan laughed and hugged me against his chest. I breathed him in, his scent is hypnotic, it's a mix between Calvin Klein and honey. Stefan pulled me away and looked deeply into my eyes. His face was brushing along the side of my face.

"I need to get dinner finished or we'll be eating at midnight," Stefan chuckled, "But, during dinner, I would like to take that time to tell you about me. But right now, it's your turn to tell me about you." I nodded in agreement and went back over to my seat across from where he was standing. I didn't know where to start so I gave him a "first day of kindergarten" introduction.

"I am Elena Gilbert. I am the oldest Gilbert child. I am 17 years old and my birthday is June 22nd. I like all colors except for purple, pink, and orange. My most favorite colors though are navy, forest green, burgundy, grey, and white. My favorite seasons are fall and winter. I absolutely hate the spring because of the pollen and I hate the summer because of the heat. I love France and Greece, all though I have never been to either of them, I would really like to go some day. I love Miley Cyrus, I don't care what anyone thinks of her, she and her songs are fabulous. I also love all types of music, except for country; country music makes me want to drink bleach-" I heard Stefan laugh at me statement and I smiled and continued my thought, "- I love shoes, I own at least 40 pairs but none of them will come close to the pair I've been saving up for-" Stefan looked at me and smiled.

"Which pair would that be?" Stefan asked enthusiastically. I smirked at him.

"Stefan, didn't anyone tell you it's rude to interrupt?" I questioned playfully. He looked at me with a sarcastic smile and rolled his eyes. "Anyway, they're a pair of Christian Louboutin's. They're extremely expensive. I was supposed to get them from my parents for my 18th birthday but…" I trailed off and suddenly felt sad. My eyes started to water and Stefan looked at me with tender concern. He went to come over to me to comfort me but I put my hand up to stop him. "I need to be able to speak about them without crying." He backed up and nodded. "Anyway, back to getting to know me," I said while smiling, "I'm a dog person, I hate cats. I think they're the most fowl creatures on this planet," I said with disgust and Stefan put his head back and laughed, "I enjoy reading, my favorite author is F. Scott Fitzgerald and my favorite piece of his is The Great Gatsby. It's a fucking masterpiece and anyone who thinks otherwise obviously doesn't have a brain." I said defensively. Stefan looked at me quickly and had a surprised look on his face. I thought he was going to scold me for cursing but he just smiled widely.

"The Great Gatsby is my favorite novel too! But please go on, I'm enjoying this," He thrillingly and went back to making dinner.

"I love movies; mostly drama, action, and horror movies. I do enjoy a comedy from time to time and the only romantic movie I truly enjoy is Titanic. Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert Di Niro are my favorite actors. I'm waiting for Scorsese and do a film with both of them," Stefan's eyes lit up and he smiled again.

"If I may interrupt you again, I must say you are the most spectacular girl I've ever met. I haven't met a girl who's listed horror as a favorite genre. And Scorsese is a favorite but I'm just biased since I am Italian." He said proudly and moved his hand in the typical Italian fashion. I just laughed and grinned at him. Stefan always knew how to make me laugh, I loved that about him.

My stomach grumbled out loud and I ducked my head in embarrassment. Stefan heard it and laughed, I frowned at his reaction. Stefan left the kitchen and went over to the dining room to set the table for dinner. I went to help him but he insisted I stayed. He came back over to me and grabbed my hand and walked me to the dining room. I saw the room lit with candles and peonies on the table. I gasped; did Stefan know that peonies were my favorite flowers? There was no way but I didn't care then. Stefan set up a beautiful evening just for me and I felt like the only girl in the world. Stefan pulled out a chair for me and I went to sit down. I expected Stefan to sit across from me but instead, he sat next to me; I liked the intimacy of sitting next to each other, it felt personal. Stefan grabbed my plate and put a spoonful or pasta on it. I just glared at him.

"What?" He asked sincerely, "Is something wrong?" I continued to glare at him and looked at the plate and back to him.

"Um yeah, something is wrong… load up that plate with pasta Stefan, I like to eat!" I said in manly tone. Stefan smiled with relief and just laughed at me. He put more pasta on my plate and I waited for him to serve himself before I ate. I shoved five forkfuls in my mouth at lightning speed and Stefan looked at me with wide eyes.

I forgot my manners and asked, "What?" with a full mouth. Stefan grinned and laughed at me.

"I've never seen a girl eat like this before. This is how a girl should eat!" He said triumphantly. I swallowed my food and smiled at him. He reached over to my lip with his finger.

"You've got a little sauce on your face," He smiled while wiping it off. I did the unthinkable next. He left his finger near my lips and I licked the sauce off of it. He looked at me with a lingering stare. I could tell he wanted me. Stefan's body tensed up and he quickly closed the gap between us and smashed his lips into mine. I opened my mouth to let him in, I didn't even care if my breath tasted like garlic, all I wanted was Stefan. Our kissing became passionate, sloppy even until I pushed myself away from him. Stefan frowned a little and I laughed at him.

"I don't want to rush things Stefan. And I want to finish dinner, since it's really good" I said innocently. He looked at me with sad eyes but still managed to smile.

"Besides, it's your turn to tell me about you!" I said enthusiastically. Stefan nodded his head and cleared his throat.

"Well, Miss Elena. My Name is Stefan Salvatore. I am the youngest Salvatore child. I am 163 years old and my birthday is November 5th. I was turned into a vampire while I was 17 so technically, I'm 17 forever. My favorite color happens to be all your favorite colors. I love to cook; it's something I've picked up while roaming Italy for 10 years. Speaking of Europe, I've been to France and I speak French fluently. I would love to take you some day and as for Greece, I've never been there but I would definitely go with you. I happen to like Miley Cyrus too and also, I'm a huge Jay-Z fan believe it or not. I also agree that The Great Gatsby is a fucking masterpiece." I giggled because I've never heard Stefan curse like that before. He looked at me with serious eyes.

"Elena, didn't anyone tell you it is rude to interrupt?" Stefan said teasingly while tickling my sides. I was laughing uncontrollably and so was Stefan. I fell off my chair trying to avoid Stefan's tickle attack and Stefan laughed with me. I just laughed on the floor of Stefan's dining room for 10 minutes until I was gasping for air. I sighed still laughing when I found Stefan looking right at me smiling. We finished dinner talking about our favorite musical artists and Stefan and I actually ended up singing a few Kings of Leon songs together. Stefan cleared our plates and then he brought me to the living room and we sat in front of the fireplace. He face turned serious though when he started talking about being a vampire.

"Being a vampire is a lot different from being a human. When I first turned, my emotions were intensified so much that the only way I could control them was so turn them off. I turned them off for a long time and killed a lot of innocent people just because I didn't care to save them after I fed on them," Stefan whispered, "It wasn't until Lexi came into my life that I was finally able to stop. I was called 'The Ripper'. I would feed on people, getting high off of human blood because that was the only thing going for me. Lexi saved me though, she found me and kicked my ass into an intervention and I never drank human blood again. I turned on my emotions again and never turned them off again. I still feel all the guilt from killing all of those people but I would have to deal with it eventually. I'm not a good person Elena, you're making a mistake by being with me but I can't go on without you. I know that's selfish of me but I just can't imagine you not in my life." I let Stefan relax a little before I spoke.

"Thank you Stefan." I said sincerely. He looked perplexed at me, curiosity hinted at his eyes.

"For what?" He asked with caution.

"For being honest with me. You never have to ever hide from me, I fully accept who you are. I'm not afraid of you. I won't turn away from you." I told him with sincerity. Stephan sat closer to me and held me in his arms. He was breathing gently and until I heard him lightly cry. I didn't allow myself to look up at him; the only thing I could do was hug and comfort him.

He finally stopped crying and said, "I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner, Elena. I'm so sorry." He wept. I didn't understand what Stefan was apologizing for.

"Stefan, what is there to be sorry about? What are you talking about?" I asked with a hint of nervousness. He grabbed hold of my face and looked at me with extreme caution but his eyes looked sad.

"I was the one who saved you, I pulled you out of the car. I went to get your dad first but he insisted I take you instead. I went back for them but it was too late Jacquelyn, it was too late. I wanted to tell you sooner but I couldn't, I just didn't have it in me until you thanked me for being honest. I'm so sorry." My eyes widened and he kept crying.

I was in disbelief, I was mortified. But with all of the horrible emotions suddenly flooding me, I also managed to feel grateful. Stefan saved me and allowed me to live another day. It was still overwhelming. I pulled away from him and went to sit on his couch to give myself some space. I was breathing heavily, trying not to cry. Stefan was still sitting on the floor of the living room. I was about to say something when I felt an asthma attack coming on. I got up quickly, frantically searching for my inhaler, since I forgot where I put my bag. I started wheezing and Stefan instantly took note to what was happening. He ran to me, catching me before I collapsed.

"Where is it? Where is it?" He kept asking soothingly but I didn't have the strength to tell him. I was suffering, gasping for air when Stefan starting rocking me back and forth on the floor while rubbing my lower back. I felt calm but my breathing was still ragged when Stefan started singing to me. Stefan had a hypnotic voice all ready but when he sang, I melted. He was singing "Lullabye" by Billy Joel. I instantly knew the song since my dad constantly listened to Billy Joel, which caused me to grow fond of him. But this song in particular, was what my dad sang to me when I was fussing in the middle of the night as an infant; we also danced to this song at my Sweet Sixteen party. I closed my eyes and listened to Stefan to focus on something other than my constricting lungs. I started to breath easier but I also started to sleepy.

"_And like a boat out on the ocean, I'm rocking you to sleep. The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart, you'll always be a part of me,_" Stefan kept singing and I closed my eyes to fall asleep. I felt him kiss my forehead several times, still singing until I succumbed to sleep. "_Some day, we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on. We'll never die, that's how you and I will be._"

Stefan assumed I was in a deep sleep when I felt him put his lips to my ear.

"Elena, you may not know it or even feel it yet, but I am falling in love with you with every second of eternity. My heart is only for you. Be mine, not now but when you're ready. You've brought me back to life."

**A/N: WOW! This was such an emotional chapter to write about. Definitely enjoyed it though! Check out the songs on YouTube. They're some of my favorite jams to listen to while writing :] – **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: First of, let me apologize for my lack of updating: these past two week have been crazy. With classes and a wedding I attended out of state, I have been neglecting this story :( Despite not updating the story here on FanFic, I have been given a lot of time to outline the next couple of chapters for "Playing for Keeps" and I think you're all going to really enjoy it! Without further ado, here is chapter 4 of "Playing for Keeps" – **

**Elena's POV:**

Stefan's words are ringing in my ear, I keep replaying his confession over and over again because I, too, am starting to feel that way but I am not ready to admit it…. It's not because Stefan is a vampire but it's because I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt Stefan. Stefan is so kind, gentle, and quite possibly the most selfless being to exist and I can't allow myself to welcome that. What happens when I start to age and Stefan is still the 17-year-old Roman God? What will people think of me? I know the idea of Stefan and I staying together is still incredibly premature but what if we do get married? What if I want to have children? I wouldn't dare make Stefan feel like he isn't good enough for me because honestly, Stefan is too good for me. Stefan would give me the world and what could I give in return? Nothing, because I am broken, I am tarnished. I can't allow myself to be happy for what I did. It was my selfishness that killed my parents. What if I got Stefan killed? I can't imagine it. That vampire that was at my house earlier probably wants to kill Stefan and will use me as leverage. Maybe it's best I give myself up to him, maybe Stefan shouldn't have pulled me out of the water. I cheated death, I was supposed to die and as punishment, the universe pulled the incredible Stefan to me. Stefan is going to love me more than air and I can't return the feeling because it's always going to be guilt and sadness that consumes me. I have to let Stefan go.

I knew what I had to do but I was too tired to wake up and do it in that moment. I felt Stefan pick me up from the floor and stand up. I was cradled in his arms. My eyes instinctively opened slightly at his movement and he smiled lovingly at me. He looked so happy and I was going to ruin it but it's for the best. Stefan needs to be free of me before it's too late. Stefan vamp sped into a bedroom, his I'm assuming and carefully placed me on a bed. I felt comfortable but that comfort was being bombarded by what I need to do. I decided to wait until Stefan was asleep to leave and never talk or see Stefan Salvatore again. Stefan lied next to me and faced towards me. I could hear him humming "She is Love" by Parachute. _What the fuck are you doing Elena? You're going to crush his heart and you're going to be miserable. You know you love him, maybe not yet, but you will. _One side of me argued but the other said, Y_ou can't let Stefan love you. Stefan deserves someone with zero emotional baggage. YOU can't fall in love with Stefan. You're not good enough, you're going to grow old and die. You were supposed to die already. You can't give Stefan what he deserve because you're __**tarnished**__. This is your punishment. _Stefan's humming started to fade; he was starting to fall asleep. It wasn't long until Stefan's breathing grew heavy and drawn out; I opened my eyes and saw Stefan in all his beauty. He lied towards me with both arms crossed beneath his head; his lips were slightly parted to allow the air to reach his lungs. His hair was in eight different directions but he looked divine, just like a Greek God. I so badly wanted to reach out to him and touch his face but I couldn't.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. Stefan stirred and slowly opened his eyes. He smiled and me and I got up to leave. Stefan sat up and looked at me with pondering eyes.

"Are you alright?" Stefan questioned. I was pacing his room now with my head down. My face shot up towards him when he spoke to me.

"I'm sorry Stefan, but I can't be with you. I can't be with you because you're too good for me. You deserve someone who isn't broken, someone who can actually have a conversation without having a fucking mental breakdown. I'm not good for you Stefan, I'm going to get you killed. You deserve to be with someone who doesn't have any emotional baggage. I'm sorry for doing this to you, for leading you on but you have to let me go. Don't follow me, don't call me, don't speak to me, and don't look at me. You and I would not work and we never would have anyway. You're a vampire and I'm human. I could never love you." I felt so horrible, treacherous for pulling out the vampire card when I told him I would never let that get in the way but I had to make it believable. Everything I said before 'you and I would not work out' was true but everything after that was a shameful lie. I would grow to love Stefan but it's because of my love for him that I had to do this. I had to protect him from me. I'm more of a threat than he is; I am volatile.

"Elena.. Please.. Just stay, we can talk this out." Stefan's voice cracked and I saw his eyes fill with tears. He was hurting deeply. His chest was heaving and his breath was shaky. I crushed him, I ruined Stefan Salvatore but it's better I did it now than later. It would hurt much more later on… wouldn't it? Stefan pleaded for me to stay again. My heart told me to stay but my head told me to go.

I left.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

I have a huge pit in my stomach. What I did was inexcusable but it was the right thing. It was only 10:30 when I left Stefan's house so I figured I would call Caroline to come pick me up.

_Ring….. Ring….. Ring…... _The line picked up and all I heard was noise, "Elena! I can't talk right now. At a party in NC with my cousins, call you tomorrow! Love you! Bye!" Caroline shouted and then hung up. I searched my contacts twice; Jeremy was with Tyler, Matt was visiting colleges this weekend… I was left with one person, Bonnie. God, I miss Bonnie so much, I'm to blame for how things ended between us. Bonnie wanted to do nothing but help and I shut her out. I shouldn't be calling her but I needed her, I needed her so bad. I dialed Bonnie's number and she picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?" Bonnie sweetly stated. A lump was growing in my throat, I was trying to keep from crying but I was so happy that Bonnie answered but I was also dying from what I did to Stefan.

"Hey, Bonnie," my voice cracked, "I'm sorry to bother you but I need you to pick me up. I need you" my voice cracked again and I could hear Bonnie already leaving her house.

"I'll be there in less than 5 minutes. Where are you Elena?" Bonnie calmly asked. She is so sweet, the best friend anyone could ask for. I laughed a little and sucked in my tears.

"I'm at Stefan Salvatore's, I'll text you the address-"

"No need to Elena, everyone knows where that is! I'm 2 minutes out. You'll be okay."

"Thank you Bonnie, thank you so much." I hung up and waited for Bonnie to arrive at the end of Stefan's driveway. I was hoping Stefan wasn't following me yet so I walked further away from his driveway to ensure the sound of Bonnie's car wouldn't alert him. I saw the headlights of Bonnie's Prius and I felt at ease, Bonnie pulled up to me with a small smile and I was thankful for it.

I got into Bonnie's car and she pulled away from Stefan's house. I couldn't help but look back. I was expecting Stefan to be standing there, running after me but he wasn't. Part of me was glad but a huge part of me was destroyed. I wanted him to come after me but I told him not to. Stefan will always respect my choice. I sighed and looked over to Bonnie who had a slight glow to her; everything was enlightened when Bonnie was around. We pulled up to Bonnie's house and she looked over to me and unbuckled her seatbelt and got out. I did the same. She waited for me and as soon as I closed the door, I ran to Bonnie and embraced her. Bonnie returned the gesture 10 times harder.

"Oh Bonnie, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry about everything" I said through sobbing tears. Bonnie was crying now too.

"Elena, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have let you shut me out. I know you were hurting, I know you still are. But I'm here now, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere" Bonnie firmly stated. We both just stood there hugging it out until Bonnie pulled away and smiled at me. I smiled back and she gestured for us to go inside. I felt my phone buzz twice in my back pocket and a sudden weight filled my chest. It had to be Stefan. I hesitantly took out my phone and was disheartened when I saw Jeremy's name instead of Stefan's. It was just a text asking where I'd be staying tonight and how my date went. I only replied to the first half of the question.

**Bonnie's POV:**

When I saw Elena's name pop up on my screen, I was in a state of disbelief. I wondered if she was drunk or something to have been able to call me since we spoke nothing since our spat from eight months ago. I was nevertheless happy so see Elena calling me, I missed her so much, she's my best friend; I would die and kill for her. I answered the phone as cheerfully as possible and when Elena responded…. I haven't heard her this shaken up since she called me about her parents. I immediately knew she needed her best friend so I set aside any issue we had and went to pick her up. I wasn't surprised when she told me she was at Stefan's though, Jeremy had filled me in the night before. All though Elena and I weren't close, Jeremy still kept me up to date with Elena. I was happy that she was starting to let herself be happy again, she deserves it. But when I pulled up to Elena she was right back where she started eight months ago. All of that progress she made was gone. I wanted to ask her right then and there what had happened but I didn't. Elena needed to come to me first. When we said our apologies and hugged before, the hole in my chest was filled.

We went into my room, since my dad had guests over. Elena sat on my bed, smiling through watery eyes. She looked around my room, taking in everything. Pictures of Elena and I covered my walls. Everything yet nothing was the same. Elena had regressed while I had evolved. We were supposed to blossom together, that was our promise. Elena couldn't help how she felt and I understood that but she still can, she just wont allow herself to. I sat next to Elena and she inhaled and looked at me with sadness.

"I'm so demented Bonnie, I'm never going to be okay" Elena blankly said. I furrowed my brows and pressed her to go on.

"Tonight was perfect, I felt more like myself than ever. Stefan makes me feel… he makes me feel safe but like I can take on the world again. He makes me feel… loved." Elena shuttered after her statement. She looked at me for a response.

"Well… that's a good thing right? Stefan seems like a really great guy. What happened next?" Elena's eyes dropped. She intertwined her fingers and was fidgeting with them. I could tell she wanted to tell me something but she was hesitant on doing so.

"I trust you Bonnie, I really do. But you cannot say anything I'm about to tell you, please Bonnie. It's a matter of life and death, not mine but Stefan's." Elena pleaded with me and I reluctantly agreed. "Stefan… Stefan's the one who saved me from drowning. Stefan pulled me out of the car…" Elena carefully said.

"I don't understand though," I really didn't, "How did he do that? They said the doors jammed from the pressure of the water. It took them hours to get your parents out." Elena winced a little at my accidental reminder.

"Well here's the part where his life comes into play –"

"What, is he Superman or something?" I jokingly stated. Elena giggled and then got serious.

"He's… he's a vampire Bonnie. I know how crazy that sounds but you have to trust me when I tell you he's harmless. Stefan would never hurt anyone unless they were a serious danger to others." My eyes widened a little at Elena's secret but couldn't help but laugh. I was of supernatural being too. I wasn't entitled to judge Stefan since I'm a witch. "How do you feel about all this?" Elena quietly asked. I took her hand in mine and gave it a firm squeeze.

"Honestly Elena, I'm not allowed to judge. There's something I need to confess too but I'd rather show you than tell you." She pursed her lips and gave me a curious stare.

"Okay" Elena said with a small smile. I grabbed the pillow behind her and ripped it opened. I dumped all the feathers out and Elena just looked at me like I was crazy.

"Just wait a second, you're going to love this" I happily said. She smiled again and waited for me to being.

I moved my hand upward from a feather and it began levitating. Elena's eyes beamed with excitement and she started laughing with disbelief. She went to say something but then I raised both of my hands and feathers were soon dancing around us. Elena looked around smiling and laughing and I did too.

"Bonnie, this is incredible! How are you doing this? I can't believe this!" Elena exclaimed. I lowered the feathers down and half smiled at her.

"I'm a witch. It's in my blood. I'm a descendent from Salem. Grams knew all along ever since I was born. She's a witch too." I said nonchalantly. Elena chuckled in amazement and smiled widely. "That's why I have no judgment towards Stefan, he's a supernatural being like I am. But I have a feeling that's why you didn't call me though" I said suspiciously.

"No, you're right, it's not. Truthfully Bonnie, it's not Stefan I'm afraid of; it's me. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt him. He told me he was falling for me and I can't let him fall for someone who is just a shell. He deserves better, he's too good for me. I can't stand to hurt him in the long run because I'm not emotionally stable. It's not fair for him." Elena reluctantly said. "And I can't let myself be happy. That's my punishment Bonnie, it's my punishment for killing them."

I couldn't what Elena was saying. She really hit rock bottom if she feels this way. I knew I couldn't sugarcoat my advice for her so I just flat out said it.

"You can't let yourself feel guilty for their death any longer Elena. You know it's not your fault. It's the way fate played out. If you keep blaming yourself, you're going to be permentaly damaged and your parents would not want that. I know for a fact that if Grayson and Miranda saw you right now feeling this way, they would make you go to Grandma Gilbert's for a whole year." I said seriously. Elena started laughing, she was hysterical; the Grandma Gilbert punishment was what Elena's parents did if her and Jeremy acted up, Grayson would send them over there for a weekend and they would have to do crazy things, like rub Grandma Gilbert's feet, to teach them a lesson.

"I know you're right Bonnie but I just can't risk hurting Stefan. He like him too much, he deserves to be free. I think I love him Bonnie." Elena said sadly. I could tell she wasn't sad about loving him but she was sad about hurting him. "There's no way Stefan could ever forgive me for that I said to him. I broke my promise to him, I told him I would never let him being a vampire get in the way of us and I lied and told him it would. I had to make him forget about me. What should I do now? I fucked it up so badly. I ruined any chance for us to be together… Stefan hates me, I know he does Bonnie, you should have been his face. I ripped his heart out." Elena was ranting at this point. She needed it but I told her the best advice I could.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return." I said softly. I saw an instant change in Elena's face. It finally clicked her for; Elena had an epiphany.

"Bonnie, you're so right! Can you take me home? I want to drive over to Stefan's, I need to apologize and be honest with him. Should I wait until tomorrow? Is it too late? It's only 11:15… what if he can't forgive me? I don't expect him too but he needs to know" Elena was rambling again. I put my hand up to stop her and grabbed my keys. She smiled widely.

"Let's go. You have an epic love to attend to." I said happily. Elena laughed and beamed. She was back.

**Stefan's POV: **

Elena's words echoed through out my entire body_. "__I can't be with you…. You're a vampire and I'm human…_ _**I could never love you." **_ I watched her walk out of my room and listened to her walk out of the house and towards the driveway. I felt paralyzed. I wanted to run after her, hold onto her, but she told me not to. I will always respect Elena but Elena was wrong tonight. She was wrong for leading me on, convincing me we had a chance but I'm also at fault for allowing myself to pry into her life. I should have just left for good after I saved her. But something, maybe the Universe, told me I needed to see her again and that I would have something with her. I felt the gravity between us when we were together but I guess Elena didn't. Elena could never love me, she told me so herself. I couldn't move from my bed. Elena scorned me, she broke me but I still was falling for her.

This brings me to ask the day old question…. Does love triumph all? Maybe so but not tonight. Tonight, hunger triumphs all. The fusion of anger, sadness, and confusion had driven me to crave human blood. And Hell, after tonight, Ripper Stefan thought it was necessary. Ripper Stefan was also telling me to turn off my emotions and go to town on Mystic Falls. I considered it; I was so close to switching it off. What do I have anymore? Elena hates me for some unknown reason and she was the one keeping me out of the dark. Elena stated her true feelings for me so what's the point now? "C'mon Stefan, turn it off" the Ripper inside me said, I wanted to and I was going to until I heard someone come inside the house. Hoping it was Elena, I ran downstairs only to be disappointed to find Lexi standing there with some random guy she picked up at the bar.

"Hungry?" she teased. I looked her with a stern, stoic expression. She sensed something was wrong. "What's the matter with you?" She pressed. I turned around to go upstairs, not wanting to discuss Elena. I heard Lexi compel the guy to go home and to forget everything and then Lexi flashed in front of me and pinned me to the wall. I was incredibly irritable already so I growled at her and pulled my fangs to her. Lexi returned the gesture and began strangling me.

"What the Hell Stefan! What's gotten into you?!" She yelled. I became defeated and started to cry. Lexi's grip loosened and she removed her hand from my neck. "Jesus Stefan, what happened? Ten hours ago you were ready to take on the world. Are you okay?" Lexi was genuinely concerned now. She wasn't going to get out of my face until I answered.

"Elena.. it's Elena" was all I managed to process out. Lexi turned her head sideways and looked at me with sorry eyes. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and walked me into my bedroom. She sat me on my bed and wiped my tears away. Lexi was so motherly, she helped me keep it together. My breathing was so ragged. I wanted to collapse, I want to give into my insatiable hunger but I thought of Elena. How happy she looked earlier when we were dancing, how intensely she gazed at me during dinner, the way she kissed me. I love her and it didn't take much for me to figure that out. The way Elena makes me feel when I think about her… it's indescribable. And just like that, the hunger subsided.

I completely forgot Lexi was there until she patted me on the back.

"She said she could never love me Lexi," I said with emptiness. Lexi pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows.

"I don't believe that one bit. But do you?" She asked. I shrugged. I didn't know, I really didn't. I did want to believe it either, but Elena was so convincing earlier. Maybe I should let her go. Maybe I'm in way over my head. But then maybe I shouldn't let her go, maybe Elena is everything I need to keep my head in check.

"I don't know Lexi… but the way she just walked out of here, as if everything that happened in the last five hours didn't matter…. It was cold. It was like Katherine." I said with disgust. Lexi slapped me across the face, which shocked me but I deserved it.

"Stefan. Salvatore. Don't. You. EVER. Compare. Elena. To. Katherine. Ever. This girl has showed you more compassion in twenty seconds than Katherine ever did in her entire existence. Don't you dare start thinking about people in that way, especially Elena. You have to remember, she's still healing from the accident. It takes a lot for her to bring herself out of her bed and show up to places." Lexi was right, I think I was asking too much from Elena. But I wonder how Lexi knew…

"How did you find out about Elena?" I questioned. Lexi half smirked at me and batted her eyes.

"I compelled some kid at the bar. You think I was just going to let you get involved with someone without knowing who they are? Think again Steffy." Lexi proudly stated. "Anyway, give her time Stefan. I know you want to love her and her to love you, which I have no doubt that she will, but let her come to you. I wouldn't bother her until she speaks to you first. Let her process what she said and she'll instantly regret it. She'll come back to you, trust me on this." Usually I was always the rational one but Lexi was right this time.

"Thank you Lexi. Thank you for not letting me turn it off." I said honestly. Lexi raised her eyebrow and laughed.

"Oh no, Stefan. I think we both know who you should thanking instead." Lexi replied. She's right, I owe it to Elena.

I lied back down on my bed and Lexi left my room to stay in one of the five guestrooms. I felt a little better but I still wondered why Elena had said those things to me. I have no idea what triggered her but I stopped thinking about it when I fell asleep to the rain for a second time that night.

**Elena's POV:**

I had no idea it was storming while I was inside Bonnie's house. I didn't even recall a storm being forecasted this morning on the weather channel. What would have taken a quick 3 minute drive from Bonnie's house to mine turned into a 15 minute ordeal. The weather was bad, high winds and heavy rain but Bonnie wanted to take me home. I insisted she stayed but she wanted to go home plus she gloated how she has All Wheel Drive. I missed her so much, I'm so glad we reconciled. I waited on my porch until Bonnie pulled out of the driveway before I went inside to grab my car keys. My car, however, did not have AWD but I needed to make things right with Stefan. I couldn't wait until the morning to do so; I fucked up so bad, I needed to fix things right now. I pulled my raincoat on and ran to my car and quickly got in. I was drenched but I didn't care. I pulled out of my driveway and the roads seemed okay to drive on. I had my windshield wipers set on the highest speed but even that didn't help with visibility. At this point, it was going to take me 20 minutes to get to Stefan's but I didn't mind. To keep myself entertained, I plugged in my iPhone and Ross Copperman's "Holding On and Letting Go" started playing. I dazed off into the lyrics of the song and how relevant there where right in that moment.

_It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't,_

_It's one door swinging open, and one door swinging closed._

_Some prayers find an answer, some prayers never know. _

_**We're holding on and letting go**__: _

Holding onto Stefan, letting go of my insecurities.

_Sometimes we're holding angels, and we never even know._

Stefan is my angel… he saved me, in more than one way.

_Don't know if we'll make it, but we know, we just can't let it show._

Stefan and I are going to make it, I just was afraid to accept it.

I was so zoned out in my thoughts and the song that I didn't see the person standing in the middle of the road. I slammed on my breaks trying to prevent killing them but I hydroplaned and the car crashed into a guardrail, which flipped over that and then finally stopped thanks to a tree. My head hit the driver window and then the steering wheel before being burned by the airbag. Surprisingly, I was conscious the entire time. I wasn't scared though, just hoping whomever that idiot was outside was calling 9-1-1. I felt a hot liquid coming from my pants. Did I pee myself? Nope. Instead, a piece of glass was wedge into my thigh causing it to bleed profusely but trust me: I wish I had peed myself instead. I also wish Stefan was here. Maybe that's why I wasn't in full panic mode. I was in a state of shock but I was also thinking about Stefan. _Well, now I'm definitely not going to be able to fix things with Stefan until tomorrow._ I laughed at my thought but when I laughed, some blood came up with it. I remember learning in health class about internal bleeding, I'm pretty sure I was experiencing that right now. Also my back hurt, a lot and when I breathed in, there was a piercing sensation. Did one of my ribs puncture my lung? It seemed so, that could be the cause of the internal bleeding. I tried resting my head back to allow more oxygen flow but that hurt too. I turned my head to the side and saw someone standing next to my shattered window. He had his head cocked and a look of hunger on his face. The rain was still coming down hard.

"Are you alright, love?" the familiar voice cooed. I couldn't really reply since blood was filling in my throat. I had to spit it out in order to speak.

"I think I'm bleeding out" I said weakly. The man just looked at me with a wicked smile and hungry eyes.

"Yes, it appears so" He said calmly. I coughed again, this time more blood came from my mouth and my vision was starting to get hazy. I tried reaching for my phone but the man stopped me and waved his finger at me.

"Ah, ah, ah." He said disapprovingly. "Who can you call? Stefan?" He said sarcastically. My attention became alert now. I remembered who he is, it was the same guy at my house earlier that day. That's when I started panicking, he was a vampire and I was on the brink of death… again. "You see sweetheart, I would give Stefan a call but it appears you two are on the outs. What is it that you said to him again? Oh yes, that you could never love him" He chuckled lightly. What is with this guy? Was he watching me earlier at Stefan's? Jesus, this was the last thing I needed right now. I was silent for ten minutes before I tried to say anything. My brain was telling my mouth to form words but nothing was coming out, an obvious sign of brain damage. _Oh joy. _

"Di… di yew cawh ni. uhn.. uhn" I croaked out. I couldn't complete my words since I was losing control of my body.

"Did I call the authorities? Of course I didn't. I'd rather watch you bleed out, die and have Stefan suffer from it then get you help" He said matter of factly. I turned my head away from him and just nodded. This was it, this was the end…. Again. I didn't even know where in Mystic Falls I crashed until I could see the mile marker that read 15 jammed in the hood of my car. Stefan's house was just after marker 20. Just like before, I was five minutes away from sanctuary. I started to get cold since the rain stopped; I wasn't sure if it was from the fact that I was hemorrhaging or that I was developing hypothermia but either option sucked.

I mustered up every ounce of strength in me to unbuckle my seatbelt and I did. I unbuckled it and felt even bolder and attempted to crawl out of the window to at least be out of the destroyed car. The man just stood back and watched with fascination. He laughed and clapped like a child at the circus.

"My oh my, even with death knocking on your door, you still have it in you!" He said happily. I went torso first out of the window when a shard of glass I didn't see stabbed my breast. I yelled out in pain and arched upward and moved my arm to pull it out. The vampire immediately went stern closed the space between us and pushed the shard deeper into my breast while looking coldly into my eyes. I screamed out a blood curdling noise and was panting. The pain was excruciating, I could feel the shard wedge underneath my sternum, the glass was poking something.

"Please…. Stop…" I breathlessly pleaded. The vampire pulled the shard out slowly which intensified the pain even more. He looked at the blood on the glass and over to me. He licked the shard and then yanked me out of the car. I grunted when I landed on the ground feeling my injuries throb even more. The vampire rolled me over so I could lie on my back and then he straddled me.

"You taste delicious… do you think Stefan would mind if he shared?" He asked innocently. I was disgusted. I tried moving away from him but he was like a dead weight. I tried looking for something to stab him with but I was too weak to grip anything. The vampire pinned my arms down and ripped open my shirt. I gasped from the cold air hitting my chest. He licked his lips and then licked my chest. I was sobbing now, it hurt to cry but it was all I had left. I felt him bite into my flesh and begin to suck out any blood I had left. I screamed so loud that anyone within a ten mile radius could hear me. I was right because with in the next three seconds, I felt him off of me and Stefan yelling my name. I saw him looking over me in full out vamp mode with anger, sadness, but mostly worry flashing across his face. I lazily smiled at him, taking my last moment with Stefan Salvatore. "I'm sorry," I whispered weakly. Stefan looked down at me and was taken back. He recovered from vamp mode and looked at me through crying eyes.

"Elena… just hold on." Stefan croaked out. I went exhale but everything went black.

**A/N: Will update by the end of the week- How was that for an update ;) Hope you enjoyed and as always, your feedback is appreciated! BTW: Check out the two songs featured in this chapter "She is Love"- Parachute watch?v=NwrVYjJmNmo "Holding On and Letting Go"- Ross Copperman watch?v=eab8WrL-q8**

**Follow my twitter account JRdrgzXO for story updates, and TVD discussions! Until next time :) **


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